You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.

 

I’m sure the initial thought of when you read the title of this post either made you smile or scared the heck out of you. That’s exactly what it should have done.

Who are the 5 people that you spend the most time within a 24 hour period? Maybe it’s not 5, but lets select at least 3 for this exercise. I’m assuming that amongst this group will include family, friends, colleagues, or even a spouse, correct? What are they doing with their lives?  How ambitious, successful, optimistic, or happy are they? Are they a positive force in your life? Do they uplift you? Do they challenge you? Do they see the good in people? I’m hoping that all 5 of these people in your life do so, but the reality is that not all of them do.

The older we get the more we begin to understand that people change (including ourselves), and for most of us it’s a realization that is hard to swallow. Why do people change? Values. What I consider an ideal night out now is definitely not what I considered an ideal night out 5 years ago and what I look for in a woman now is not what I looked for in a woman 5 years ago either. We also need to consider our environment because the environment always wins. You need to be conscious of where you spend your time and who you spend your time with. If you don’t feel that these people and places are substantially elevating your game and inspiring you to be bigger and better, then you need to find new people and places to be. Here’s a great exercise that I stole from another article which will help you assess what kind of people you surround yourself with and what environments you’re in:

Write down the 5 people you spend the most time with and the 3 environments you spend the most time in.

In regards to people, rate each of them on a scale of 1-10 in these categories (and don’t worry… they won’t see this):

Wealth consciousness (1-10)
Up to BIG things (1-10)
Encouraging & positive (1-10)
Health conscious (1-10)

In regards to your environment, rate each place on a scale of 1-10 in these categories:

Feels abundant (1-10)
Clean (1-10)
Good energy (1-10)
Positive & uplifting(1-10)

An 8 (for each) should be your bottom line. No less…

YES… it will be difficult to change.
YES… it will be worth it.
YES… the types of people and environments you’ve always dreamed about are out there.

You simply need to be conscious, courageous, and caring enough realize what isn’t working and make a commitment to find the type of people and places that will lift you up.

Then average your scores together in each category for each environment and person.

The most difficult part of this saying is not knowing what to do with family or friends that have been there for years (or your entire life). Do you just leave them because they don’t share the same values as you? Like they say, “it gets lonely at the top.” I’m going to go against societies norm and say that regardless of who they are, it’s your choice. You have the choice in surrounding yourself with people that will radiate positivity in your life or surrounding yourself with people that will continue to be a black cloud above you and your future. I’m sure some of you are thinking, “Christian, you’re such a douche for leaving those people behind.” I’m fine with that. With that being said, know that my parents are definitely 2 of those 5 people. I’ve adopted the saying that, “if they’re not lifting you up, they’re pulling you down.” All I ask for from people that I spend time with are that they are a positive force in my life. Now, the top 5 people in my life must contribute more than that because I know that if they’re not challenging me to be a better person and just as ambitious and goal- oriented as myself, I’ll accept the position I’m in and that’s the last thing I want and need.

Mediocrity is and never will be an option. When you settle for less, you place a glass ceiling above your head and you begin to tell yourself that you’ve exhausted all efforts in reaching the top. The closer you get to the top, the more you realize that there is no “top.” When you surround yourself with people that are your backbone, your foundation, and your rock, you’re already one step ahead of everyone else. You decide the people and the environment you’re in and I highly suggest that you begin assessing these variables if you haven’t already. Are you not where you want to be? Do you feel that the people currently in your life are not as enthusiastic in your future? Are you satisfied with just being content? Are you blinded by other people’s perceptions and beliefs?

I want to take the time to personally thank the 5 people I spend the most time with. I won’t drop any names since I might offend some people, but they know who they are. They know who they are because I’m sure I’m on their list as well. Thank you for always telling me things that I may not necessarily want to hear but need to hear. Thank you for being that positive force in my life and continually pushing me to not only do better but be better. Thank you for believing in me when I may not have believed in myself. Thank you for being my foundation and loving me for me- imperfections and all. Thank you for steering me in the direction that I may not know I should be in. Last but not least, thank you for your unconditional love. Without these people in my life I wouldn’t be where I am today and I’m forever grateful for their presence. Take the time to tell those 5 people in your life that you appreciate them. A little gratitude goes a long way.