Throughout the week, I’ll have friends and colleagues send along inspirational videos and this story is so good that I decided to host it as a blog post. Ginger (Alexia), a fellow colleague and amazing friend sent me this video earlier this week about a man who developed a tremor in his hand that kept him from creating drawings that he loved. Instead of giving up on his passion, he decided to embrace this limitation and transcend it. Throughout the video he displays alternate methods of art which is MINDBLOWING. Living in Los Angeles, I’ve definitely come across some unique art forms but he’s surpassed anything I’ve even seen.
How many times have you endured a moment where you wanted to quit? You often come across brick walls, huge potholes, etc., but what makes you great is when you’re able to overcome these obstacles. Sometimes these obstacles are placed in front of you to test your strength or how bad you want something. Take a minute to step back and assess how much you want something. Phil Hansen displays this strength in this video where he’s able to embrace his limitations and change his perspective to make something great. When you embrace the person within and are able to adapt to your surroundings, you can do amazing things.
When you first meet someone, you’re never really “you”, but an ambassador of yourself. In more simple terms, you have an alternate identity that you use to represent yourself, but more times than not, that’s not actually you. Depending on who you’re introducing yourself to will dictate how eloquent you speak, your attitude, your tone of voice, the way you shake hands, an even how you introduce yourself. For example, if you’re introducing yourself to a colleague, you’re going to give a firm handshake, make eye contact, smile, straighten your posture, and probably throw in a “yes sir” or “yes ma’am” for good measure. Now if you’re introducing yourself to a friend of a friend at a party, bar, etc. you’re probably not going to be as firm with the handshake, won’t care about your posture, and lead with “what’s up man?” or “How do you know…”. This will obviously vary based on the occasion or who you’re speaking to, but the point is first impressions matter.
Carol Goman wrote an article for Forbes a few years back that I bookmarked which covers what you need to do in order to make a solid first impression in seven seconds. Based on these nonverbal cues, one can make several computations including: “Are you someone to approach or to avoid? Are you friend or foe? Do you have status and authority? Are you trustworthy, competent, likeable, confident?.” To sum up the article, here are several nonverbal cues you can do to make a positive first impression:
Adjust your attitude
Straighten your posture
Smile
Make eye contact
Raise your eyebrow
Shake hands
Lean in slightly
Now how does this translate into dating? Great question! I may not know what to do, but from experience I can tell you what not to do- which may be just as (if not more) valuable.
Although I’ve been distant from the dating scene for awhile, I think I’ve finally mastered the art of the “first impression”. This may be contradictory to the fact that I’m still single but lets imagine that my relationship status was insignificant for this topic. Whether you’re out painting the town red or this is your first date with another person, what you wear is arguably the most important thing. This is where judging a book by a cover matters- yea, I went there. Gentlemen, a dapper suit for women is equivalent to what lingerie is for us. Dress to impress: make sure you’re groomed, collared shirt (tucked in), slacks, and some wingtip shoes should do the trick. Granted, adding subtle accessories such as suspenders, a tie (bow tie), colorful socks, and a watch will let the woman know that you mean business. The goal of dressing nice is to show that you put some effort into the date. Now that you’re ready for the date, what do you do?
Open the door. Every. Door. The car door, restaurant door, movie door, apartment/house door, etc.
PUT YOUR PHONE AWAY. If you’re on a date, nothing tells the other person how uninterested you are than by being on your phone.
Always be on time. This isn’t a party or a birthday dinner. Being punctual will set the tone for the rest of the date especially if the other party is impatient.
Focus on her. She is the only person in the room. If she doesn’t feel like you’re engaged, she will lose interest. I know.
Smile and make eye contact. The eyes are the window to the soul and your smile must be the brightest in the room.
Don’t tell her your life story. Keep her wanting more. The mysterious type always seems to be the most attractive. Don’t leave all your cards on the table.
Pay. Ladies, we know you’re capable of paying but you shouldn’t have to. Gentlemen, you pay for the entire date. None of this “let’s go halfsies” crap- you’re not in a relationship yet.
Listen, don’t just hear. There’s a vast difference between hearing and listening. Listening involves that you’re engaged in the conversation and you’re asking questions to show that you’re paying attention and you’re not just staring at her breasts.
Relax. This isn’t a job interview. Be you. Own whoever you are and say everything with your chest (Kevin Hart voice).
If I haven’t told you already, I am the ultimate tourist.. regardless of the city. Yes that even includes LA. I’m about a month late with this post but better late than never, correct?! I visited New York earlier this month (the first week of this month to be precise) and I couldn’t have asked for better weather. When I visited New York earlier this year in February, it was 19 degrees with a constant wind.. during the day. At night, well let’s just say as a Los Angelian, I didn’t adjust as well as I thought I would. I believe it was 60-65 degrees the ENTIRE time I was there and I heard that just before I arrived it was raining so God was definitely wanted me to enjoy my trip and I did.
I’d like to shout out my amazing co- workers at the NY Adconion office for making me feel at home and involving me in lunches and happy hours after work. When visiting a city that you know absolutely nothing of, I would definitely encourage you to bring a friend or hopefully you’re just as fortunate to know people that are currently residing in that city. Sidebar: Now I’m upset that I wasn’t able to snag a picture of all of us. Womp. If I wasn’t there for business, I can guarantee that my memory would have been filled. On Friday, we went to Hummus and Pita in Chelsea which is sort of like a Chipotle but with all the fixings in a Pita sandwich (is that what they call it)? The point is, we absolutely need something like this in LA and if there already is please direct me in the right direction so that I can stuff my face. We then got drinks at Brio which is in the Flatiron District which has an amazing assortment of alcoholic beverages. Of course I ordered a whiskey sour because that’s the only hard liquor I order (aside from a Sidecar or Old Fashioned, so maybe not the only drink), and I was very pleased that they made it the correct way. If you don’t know much about Whiskey Sours, you need to make it with egg. Yes egg.
On Saturday, as soon as I took the 4 train from the Bronx into the city, I walked everywhere. I started in Time Square where I actually bought an iPhone 5 because I was due for an upgrade and I thought no better place to buy my new phone than NY. From there, I walked all the way up to Central Park and then walked all the way back down to the Flat Iron District. I have absolutely no clue why I chose to do that, but it kinda just happened by chance. I suppose that when the weather is beautiful, you have your headphones on, you’re in an amazing city, and you have no worries then you walk as if you’re a traveling man. What can I say? I was vibin’ with the city. I concluded my journey at Blue Water Grill where I had this amazing.. I actually don’t remember what I have but it was hella good! See below:
I refuse to go to NY during the summer when it’s humid and such but I will be making my back east at least 2x before the year ends. If you’re looking for a travel partner and don’t mind being spontaneous, please join me! 🙂
I came across this story yesterday before I was heading out to work and I was leaving my place I had to thank the Man above for blessing me with life (as I probably don’t do it nearly as much as I should). Zach Sobeich died on May 20th after battling osteosarcoma (terminal cancer) for 4 years and his legacy lives within the music he’s made over the past couple years. His hit single “Clouds”, which is available in iTunes and Spotify, reached #1 in iTunes after his death and if you listen to his single you can see why. See the documentary below for a glimpse of his life and how he spent the last several weeks/months of his life.
Watching this story made me question how I’m currently living my life and if I’m actually embracing what I have. If you were to die tomorrow, would you be happy with how you’ve lived your life? Chances are the answer is no. I’m sure this is due to a myriad of variables which consists of just “getting by” or being complacent, not being happy, not partaking in the events that you love, etc. The beauty of life is that you’re able to choose whether or not you want to be happy- it’s not forced upon you by any means to feel anything besides happiness. Your perspective on your life defines everything. Since opportunities are rarely offered and seized often, you need to be able to do the things you love when you have the chance. I definitely agree with the quote, “When You Look Back on Your Life You’ll Regret the Things You Didn’t Do More Than the Ones You Did”. Take risks. Fall in love. Do things you’d never consider doing. Be fearless. Be positive. Spread the love. Life is way too short to be anything but happy.
“Many people are like garbage trucks. They run around full of garbage, full of frustration, full of anger, and full of disappointment. As their garbage piles up, they look for a place to dump it. And if you let them, they’ll dump it on you. So when someone wants to dump on you, don’t take it personally. Just smile, wave, wish them well, and move on. Believe me. You’ll be happier.”
Joel Osteen refers to this theory in his book, “Everyday a Friday”, which is actually a book written by the author David P. Jollay. Do you ever notice that when an argument is occurring, the person who appears to be more choleric increasingly becomes angrier because the other person is placid and collected? From my experience, I know that if you’re able to control your emotions, you’re less likely to say something that you will regret later down the road. Don’t make permanent decisions over temporary feelings. Although you might have said something in the heat of the moment, the other person will ALWAYS remember what you said (don’t you?). What do you benefit from being angry or getting upset? If you’re able to touch on subjects in a cordial and respectable manner amongst your peers, I’m sure that you’ll either reach a compromise or you might even get what you want (go figure). However, by screaming, cursing, or disrespecting the other person, you’re more susceptible to lose that battle. Put your ego aside, it’s not worth it.
If somebody drops a load of garbage on you, don’t be upset, angry, or offended. If you let them drop a load on you, you’ll make the same mistake as they did and you’ll end up dropping a load on someone else. Put a lid on it. Recycle the garbage. If you constantly are emptying the trash, you won’t have any garbage and you’ll be able to carry on with your life. If you do have garbage and you don’t think that you can take it out by yourself or recycle it, don’t be afraid to call upon a friend or a family member and help you release the garbage. Sometimes all you need is someone there that will take the time to assist you. For some people, they don’t even need someone to talk. Just listen. We let insults bother us because we feel that someone failed to show us the respect and the approval that we believe we need. Just smile, wave, and move on. They’re looking for a response and when you let them know that they got to you, you’re reinforcing their actions which is the last thing you need to light their fuel.
I know that I haven’t interviewed someone in an about 2 months, but I promise that I’ll be back on my game.. soon.. real soon. I had the pleasure of interviewing this beauty this week and I believe it’s safe to assume that we agreed that LA (particularly the valley) is much smaller than we thought. I went to middle school with her best friend, she went to high school with my best friend, we used live around the corner from each other, and my best friend and her best friend are relatively close friends. Are you still following? If not, I completely understand because I may have lost myself as well. Any who, as a fellow blogger, Andriana has been able to turn her hobby into a part time position at 365hangers.com. Her love for fashion and “look books” is evident through her work and I have no doubt that she will exceed in any role that she chooses in her young life.
As a CSUN alumni (GO MATADORS!!) and a broadcast journalism major, she interned for ABC7 and NBC4 which gave her the initial exposure to the broadcasting world. Like many other students in college, we’re all so eager to leap into our fields but what we fail to realize is that we need to be able to crawl before we walk. By interning for these major LA networks, Andriana was able to receive a hands on experience in her field. As the sole writer and owner of Lamodabyandriana.com, she displays a portion of her lifestyle which encompasses make up tips, food secrets, season trends, and her sophisticated style.
At 365hangers.com she researches other bloggers to be featured on their website to assist with content, so if you’re an avid fashion blogger please reach out to her and I’m sure that she would be more than happy to assist. They’re actually hosting a Twitter party next Thursday (5/23) at 11AM PST, so be sure to follow along and enter to win their grand summer prize using the hashtag #365HANGERS.
Sitting down with someone that has such passion and drive for her craft is always a warming and rewarding experience. For someone that has to drive just as far (actually further. Sucker.) for her job, it’s definitely reassuring to know that it’s her passion that allows her to make those trips. For anyone that commutes from the Valley to the Santa Monica area, we feel for you. Would you like to carpool? I’m sure Andriana and I would love to take the carpool lane which should shave off around 20 minutes from our commute. I actually use the carpool lane regardless. Just kidding. But not really. Her inspiration for blogging is drawn from wanting to showcase what she loves to do but not having to attend to it on a daily basis and isn’t that what we all want? Doing something that we love to do but not having to feel committed to do it. Thanks again Andriana for vibin’ with me during a chilly summer night! See below for ways to contact Andriana and 365hangers.com and additional questions from the interview:
What is one of your long term goals? Hosting a fashion show (in terms of a television show)
What would you describe your style as? California girl, Feminine, Classic, Old School
What is something that most people don’t know about you? My favorite color is white (so weird- just kidding) 🙂 Shy Loves to cook
What’s a deal breaker for you? Men that aren’t ambitious and that lie.
If there was one celebrity that you would to play you in a movie, who would it be? Salma Hayek- “hottest little Latin lady” or Charlotte from Sex and the City with Carrie’s style.
Working in the online industry, I’m always coming across some of the most interesting sites on the web. Bangwithme.com would fit under that umbrella. I was reading several tech blogs late last year when an article about this website was featured and I couldn’t believe why something of this nature had not been thought of yet. It’s ingenious, yet something that is definitely not suitable for young teenagers. They actually launched their mobile app a week or so ago, so now you’re able to use this service wherever you go. Here’s how it works..
You start by logging in using your Facebook account (and I highly suggest that if you partake in this service that you adjust your privacy settings) and you begin to select those who you would like to “bang” or “hang out” with. Once you log in, you’re directed to a page where you’re able to choose the gender of your preference and begin the frenzy. What’s interesting is that in order for you to receive a “match”, the app won’t reveal your intentions until that friend picks you back. According to several reviews, you’re notified by either e-mail or a notification if you have the mobile app. The founders of this app have managed to take a social networking site that the majority of us use on an everyday basis and turned it into a dating (ish) site. If you’ve ever had a secret something for someone and you’ve never known how to “tell” them, well here’s a discreet way of telling them. You’re welcome.
First and foremost, I’d like to wish all you amazing mothers a blessed Mother’s Day! If there is a role that I respect the most, it’s that of a mother. 🙂
Now that clearly summer is right around the corner, what other activities are there in Los Angeles besides the beach? Well, don’t I have a treat for you. Street Food Cinema is produced by TIL Lifestyle Marketing and Events which features food trucks, bands, and a movie on a huge lawn. Beginning May 25th for 18 weeks during the summer months, they host these events every Saturday in multiple locations in Downtown LA (primarily Exposition Park). We definitely need more events such as these in LA since it appears to be rather prevalent in other southern states (ex. Blues on the Green in Austin, TX).
Beginning at 5:30PM every Saturday until about 10:30-11:00PM (or whenever the movie is over), you’re able to experience the food truck craze while vibin’ out to some live bands and finally topped off by a movie. You’re able to purchase tickets online or at the door but I highly suggest that you purchase them ahead of time. Here is some additional information for these events:
Parking: $10 Lot Parking
Tickets: $10 General Admission. $15 Reserved Seating. Children (6-12) $5. Children 5 and under Free. Four Pack (4 Tickets) $32.
Details: Doors Open 5:30pm Band 6:30pm Movie 8:00pm (sunset)
Facebook: Street Food Cinemas
Twitter: @stfoodcinema
Website: http://streetfoodcinema.com/
After reading several reviews, I was able to compile several suggestions when attending these events to make the experience as enjoyable as possible.
Bring blankets (specifically something thicker with more padding as the lawn tends to get damp at night. I heard comforters do the job)
Do NOT bring high lawn chairs (You can bring small beach chairs and but you’ll be sitting on the left/right side of the lawn as the middle section is designated for people with blankets)
Pillows- To rest that pretty little head of yours
Alcohol- beers or wine coolers will suffice and this is perfect for this time of year
Food- Although they’ll have food trucks at the venue, perhaps it would be a good idea to pack a small picnic for a date?
Get there early! It starts to get packed around 7:00PM but you want to submerge yourself in the whole experience AND get a great seat for the movie so you should try to get there around 5:30-6PM
Bring cash for the food trucks
Have fun!
Some friends and I are planning to go on June 15th to watch Pitch Perfect, so if you’d be interested in coming along please let me know so we can buy tickets. We should be able to get a group rate if we have enough people.
Why are we afraid of change? Simply put, it’s because we don’t want to go outside of our comfort zone. We place ourselves within a fenced area that anytime we step outside the fences we don’t know what to do with ourselves. Ask yourself this question, what would you do if you weren’t afraid? Think about it for a second… or multiple seconds.. or a minute.. or two. Think of the endless possibilities of what you could accomplish if you knew you had nothing to lose. Who knows, a change might be around the corner but instead of making that turn you keep walking straight in the same line that you’ve always been on course for.
“It is not the strongest of the species that survives, nor the most intelligent that survives. It is the one that is the most adaptable to change.”
The most beautiful thing about life is that if you don’t like the state that you’re in, you can change it. We’re so blessed to have so many resources such as education and technology that we often take these things for granted. The stars do not have to align in order for you to make the best out of the situation. Like I’ve said several times before, you can’t change your circumstances but you can change your perspective. Life is going to throw curve balls at you and it is by far going to put the most burden on you, however, if you take those lessons and pull the positive out of it, I’m sure you’ll be much more happy. If you know you are better and can do better, what’s stopping you from going out there and doing so? If you know you deserve a better lifestyle, what’s stopping you from making that change? It’s only when we change and grow, is when we see a whole new world that we never knew existed.
“Change is the only constant. Hanging on is the only sin.”
I see so many of my peers caught in this limbo stage of not knowing what to do in the next chapter of the life but I steadily begin to see that they’re still hanging onto the past. We all have memories that we want to keep which we hold close to our heart, but by doing so the only thing that you’re doing is clipping your wings. Change has to come within and you cannot depend on anyone else to make that change for you. You can only change if you want to change. Do yourself a favor and embrace change and adapt to your surroundings. It’s such a beautiful thing when you let go and let God.
Spread the love. Support the movement. Let's Vibe. 