A Woman’s Worth

“A woman is often measured by the things she cannot control. She is measured by the way her body curves or doesn’t curve, by where she is flat or straight or round. She is measured by 36-24-36 and inches and ages and numbers, by all the outside things that don’t ever add up to who she is on the inside. And so if a woman is to be measured, let her be measured by the things she can control, by who she is and who she is trying to become. Because as every woman knows, measurements are only statistics. and STATISTICS LIE.”
–Nike

How is a man supposed to know a woman’s worth if she doesn’t? Know your worth because if you don’t, no one else will. Ladies, how often are you shown images by the media that makes you believe that you may be lacking something? With all the multiple advertising platforms such as digital, print, and the television, I’m sure you’re constantly being reminded that you don’t have a certain breast size, you don’t weigh a certain amount, you don’t earn a certain amount, you’re not as successful as the next woman, and so forth. What is a woman’s worth? Is it qualitative? Is it quantitative? Is it tangible? Can you be married into it? Is it something that is contrived? Are you born into it?  Depending on the culture, generation, and perspective, the answers to these questions are subjective which leads me to one objective conclsuion- you define your worth.

“A woman isn’t beautiful because of fashion or stuff,
Or the color of her hair or the shape of her butt…
She is beautiful when she nurtures her self
Takes care with her soul, her heart, and her health
For when a woman is nurtured, inside and out
Her true beauty is something we can’t be without.”

A woman’s worth is undeniable, yet I see that a woman’s self- esteem and self- respect fluctuates and they tend to seek approval from others which fuels the meter. You may be thinking, “what does being insecure have anything to do with their self worth?” It has everything to do with it. If you constantly need to seek the approval of those around you (even those who you don’t know), then you’re being defined by what they think and not actually by who you are. Let me explain. How many of you have friends on Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram who post pictures of themselves half- naked or some variation of it? I’m sure we all do and I’m sure those pictures receive the most “likes” and the most “comments”. If you don’t believe me, go to their profile and compare a provocative picture against a picture of some food item (or whatever you feel like). Fellas, let’s not lie and say we won’t “like” it because if we could “like” it more than once, I’m sure we would. Let’s keep it real. The point of this example is that women will continue to post these pictures because they feel it gets them the most attention (which it does), but why can’t you receive the same amount of feedback with more clothes on?

When people love you, embrace that sh*t. You define your worth. If you have a successful career along along with a beautiful family. That’s your worth. If you choose to sleep around and choose to do drugs. That’s your worth. That’s the beauty of life! Your worth is and your destiny is dependent on your choices that you make now and the perspective you have. A woman’s worth is what she makes of it. The world will tell you that your worth is determined by the tag on your purse or the number on the scale, but when you embrace the person within you’ll never be insecure. You’re not perfect, so stop trying to be. Someone that values the person you are will accept you for everything you have to offer- flaws and all.

The best example of how a mother helps her daughter identify her worth and her identity is  how Jada Smith speaks upon the choices Willow has made about her physical appearance (particularly shaving her head):

“The question why I would let Willow cut her hair, first the let must be challenged,” says Pinkett Smith. “This is a world where women [and] girls are constantly reminded that they don’t belong to themselves — that their bodies are not their own, nor their power or self-determination. I made a promise to endow my little girl with the power to always know that her body, spirit and her mind are her domain.”

Jada is empowering her daughter to embrace herself so that she (Willow), can be secure with her body/mind and know her worth. In doing so, Willow will be able to disregard societies construed vision of what the “norm” is and be comfortable in her own skin. I couldn’t agree more with this style of parenting. No women’s hair defines her worth. 

The cruel reality is that women live in a man’s world BUT women really do rule the world. They just haven’t figured it out yet. When they do, and they will, we’re all in big trouble.

Happy Easter ya’ll!